Stop Trying to be “That Mom”

“She always takes her kids out to do so many fun things.” …I should really do that more. My kids probably think I’m so boring. “She always cooks the most delicious dinners.” …I really need to start cooking more for my family. “They always make time to go out on dates.” …My husband and I need to make more time for that. “Her kids always have the cutest outfits” …I need to get my kids some new clothes. They’re starting to look a little faded and worn out. “She always manages to put herself together everyday.” …I need to start waking up a little earlier in the morning to actually do my hair and wash my face. “Wait, they went on hayride? They were just at the pumpkin patch last weekend and the apple orchard the weekend before that, right?” …We need to take the time to do more together as a family.

Sound familiar? As we scroll through Instagram and Facebook, we’re flooded with those perfect, “candid” family photos. It’s all around us. These perfect families… taking these perfect family trips… always wearing these perfect clothes… eating these perfect meals each day. I don’t know about you, but it looks absolutely exhausting to me. Like seriously, who’s got time for all that? Not me! I got dirty diapers to change, clothes to clean, a mess in the kitchen from last night’s supper (aka. whatever I could find in the pantry and throw in the crockpot). And, don’t even get me started on the logistics of getting the whole family ready to go somewhere, not to mention getting myself ready too! Like I said, exhausting!

So, stop it! Stop comparing yourself to her! As a matter of fact, who is she anyways? Because, she’s not like any other mom I’ve ever met.

I’ve met the mama who works all day, and just wants to come home, throw on a pair of sweats and have the local Mexican joint cook for her.

I’ve met the mama who stays home with the kids all day and barely has enough time to throw her hair up in a messy bun and slip on a pair of her sexiest leggings — the ones she wore yesterday and likely the day before that too.

I’ve met the mama who has finally made it to the weekend and has no desire to do anything else but stay home, lay low and try to get as much energy stored up as she can to take on the week ahead.

And you know what? That’s o k a y. You don’t have to be “that mom” who has it all together, all the time because truthfully, she probably doesn’t have it all together either. Why? Because truthfully, that mama doesn’t exist.

I bet if you asked her the last time she went on a date with her husband, she’d tell you she can’t remember.

I bet if you would’ve paid her a visit yesterday, she was in her favorite pair of sweatpants or leggings, hair up in a messy a bun and the house hadn’t been picked up for days.

I bet if you asked her what they had for dinner last night, she’d tell you it was take-out.

So stop, mama… I beg you… please stop! Those life moments you see as you scroll are merely highlights — the perfect highlights. The highlights she wants the world to see, not the ones she doesn’t. Underneath it all, she’s just like you and I: Scattered most days, unsure of how she’ll make it through and a cup of coffee away from complete madness.

No one has it all together, all the time. Most mamas would prefer that extra hour of sleep over a nice hairdo any day. Tacos + chips and guacamole are a unanimous yes for dinner on virtually any night of the week. And I think most would agree they prefer to snuggle up on the couch on Friday and Saturday nights anyways. Plus, aren’t the best memories made when you’re just enjoying the moment no matter where you are?

Mamas… Just know this, there is no perfect mother out there.. no mother that doesn’t have days she wishes she could just lie in bed and be dead to the world.. no mother that doesn’t wish she had a little more time for herself and her husband.. no mother that doesn’t feel inadequate at times. But, as long as you’re doing the best you can and you little ones are loved that’s all that really matters anyways. They already think you’re super mom, so stop trying.