Dear Family,

Please don’t ask me what’s for dinner tonight. Yes, I could look up a recipe. I could rummage through the fridge and the freezer to find something to throw together. I could tell you what ingredients I have to make tacos or chicken noodle soup, and I could tell you what we still need to get from the store.

It’s already been a long week. My to do list has grown because I haven’t been able to get all the things done I’d planned to tackle at the beginning of the week. And, as luck would have it grocery shopping was on that list. I know that we have the broth, vegetables and all the seasonings for the soup, but we still need the chicken. The chicken I have on hand only 2 of the kids will eat, so that won’t do. We need the all white chicken breasts instead. And for the tacos… we have the flour tortillas, taco seasoning and cheese, but we ran out of ground beef. It was on the list too — the lean kind because I heard it’s better for you.

I sat down to order it all, but I got distracted. The baby needed a diaper change, and then I realized we were low on wipes, and I only had a few diapers left. Then, I heard some crying from the other room. Someone had stolen someone else’s favorite toy and wouldn’t give it back. Once things were settled there, I noticed that the dogs needed to be let out, so I rushed them out the door before I had an accident to clean up. That’s when I noticed there were several packages on the porch that needed to be brought in. Don’t worry, I put all of it away, and I actually remembered to break the boxes down this time for you too!

But, then, as I walked by the laundry room, I noticed that clothes you asked me to wash were still soaking in the sink. They’re your favorite, and they had a nasty stain that needed to be treated. It’s ok though… I managed to get the stain out after looking up a laundry hack for tough stains just like that one. I wrote it down and taped it to the laundry room cabinet door in case it happens again.

After that, I looked down at my watch. It was already lunch time. That would explain why the baby was fussing again. So, I made you all your favorites for lunch: grilled cheese and SpaghettiOs with a side of Cheese-It’s. But, I did make sure you got a serving of fruit with it — fresh bananas and strawberries because those are better than the canned fruits. But, I always feel like I should be making you something more nutritious, so I found a couple healthier recipes on Pinterest. I printed them off for tomorrow.

I cleaned up the lunch mess and the kitchen, just in time to get you all down for a nap. I hope it goes better than yesterday. I made sure to put you down earlier, so I don’t have to wake you up when it’s time to go get the rest of the crew from school. I sat down, then, to rest after being on my feet all morning. I need to be spending more time with God and reading my devotional more, so I did that in hopes of it easing my mind.

I decided to close my eyes. But, only for a few minutes. I’m exhausted because the baby was up crying last night — it’s teeth… I know it is. And, of course, someone else had a bad dream and needed to be soothed back to sleep, so I took care of that as well. I didn’t mean to take a nap, but I accidentally fell asleep. Lucky for me, I woke up in just enough time to grab the others, jump in the car and slide into the school pick up line.

Then, of course, everyone needed a snack when we got home, and there was homework to do. But, the baby was fussing again and only wanted to be held, which slowed me down a bit.

And now, it’s dinner time, and you’re asking me what’s on the menu. The truth is… I tried. I really tried. But, if you remember, I got distracted from my grocery shopping earlier this morning with the other things that needed to be done. I try to keep things running smoothly.

So please, don’t ask me what’s for dinner. I’ll break down and cry. And, I don’t want you to think I’ve lost it again. I promise I haven’t. I’m just tired. I’m trying to do the best I can, yet at the end of the day it seems as if I’m always behind. And, I can’t figure out how?

You see, these were the parts of motherhood no one quite prepared me for, and I’m still trying to figure it out. Things constantly ebb and flow. I’m trying to find that balance, but no one really told me how hard that would be.

So, if you want to know what you can do to help — at least for tonight — please don’t ask me what’s for dinner. I’m tired. I still have a grocery list to make, and I don’t have time to cry.

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